Tuesday, May 06, 2003


Hello, bumfuck, hairy cock! My name is Dr Simon Bunnion, sperm stain on my undies, and I'm here, tiny cunt bubble, to set the record straight about an extremely, spunky nappy, rare but serious mental condition, cock cock cock, known as Tourette's syndrome.
Tourette's syndrome, tufted ringpiece, can be an extremely difficult, sweaty minge, problem to deal with for any sufferers and their, tender titties, families. It is an illness which, piss pube bristly nipple cosy, affects the mind in such a manner that those suffering, get off me you arse stabber, from it feel compelled to swear, squeal, tickle a turd on a fat man's bellend, and insult people and objects, cock in a sock, at random.
Most of these people, holy mother of Jesus would you look at the raspberries on that bitch, live on council estates and don't know any better, run my knob beneath the tap and watch it's eye weep.
Despite the perculiarities this, creamy smegma, creates, it is not a, toe jammed up a fat nun's anus, disease to be laughed at. Twat! The social complications that arise from Tourette's, as, fanny batter, you can imagine, are immense. And many Tourette's sufferers, McDonalds burgers, don't even realise they have the, pissflaps down to her knees, condition.
In this cynical, little chinky whore screwing, modern world it's all too easy to laugh, shit on my nose and kiss my vulva, at this disabilitating illness.
Tourette's syndrome has become the, vagina cheese, obvious target for, stinging balls dipped in mustard, 'wits' and, huge swollen glans with Jeremy Beadle's face on it, 'satirists' who, quite frankly, ought to know better. People who, if they had an ounce of, droppings, marble bollocks, milky love wee wee, decency in them, would understand the, warty penis that resembles Michael Barrymore, implications of this dreadful affliction and steer clear, fuck Ulrika up the dirt box and stab her chocolate starfish with a ballpoint pen, of the sort of unintelligent, cruel jibes that often result from their lack of, Thora Hird's back passage being penetrated by Norman Wisdom, imagination.
Well, that's it for now, cunt fuckers.
Next week I shall be discussing elephantitus of the testicles but until then, stay healthy and get fucked!

Deputy Editor here. Just poked my head into your waiting room Simon, and I see you already have a capacity audience for next week's topic.