Alwhright mate? Y'r alwhright, aren't y' mate? You're me mate, you are. You're me mate an' you're alwhright y' fuckin' cunt! Ar know...ar know...Av 'ad a bit t' drhink but am uz sober as a judge I am. Sober as a cock suckin' judge! An thas whas they ar, y' know? Fuckin' cock suckin' cunts the lorrov 'em. Fuckin' cunts in wigs thas what! Fuckin' majistrates an benders! You know whad day did? Eh? Ar y' listenin' mate, 'cos I've got somethink verr, verr portant t' tell ya! Y' know what that cuntin' arsehole ov a shudge did today? 'Ee fined me fifty quid! Fifty fuckin' quid juss f'r flashin' me knob at some bird onnuh train! Whaddya think ov zat then, eh? Just f'r flashin' me knob! Alwhright...Ard 'ad a few, on account o' Man United winnin'. But 'oo can blame me? Eh? I ask y'? Anyone 'ud a done ze same, even that fuckin' puff ov a judge. An' this old biddy...this old bastard biddy bitch...I was only wankin' off in 'er face... which, admittedly, might be contruted...constudelled...constueueued by zom as bein' a bit offenzive like, especially seein' as she was ze lady mayoress an' she waz openin' the new platform at ze time. But...but...but...oh fuckin' 'ell...Arv spilt me dhrink on y' keks...Am zorry mate...oh look whaddarv done...Arv spilt me fuckin' drink now an' Arv pizzed me fuckin' trousers! No...Ar don't wanna go 'ome y' twat! Geddoff me arm y' fuckin' bender. Arl 'ave y' now! Y' startin' sommet? Eh? Y' fat bastard! Y' startin' sommet y' big shit ztabber?! Arl 'ave you and 'oos army, y' stinkin' great ponce! Come on! COME ON! SMACK! Jeshush fuckin' Haitch!
