Monday, March 03, 2003

Meet George! He's funny! He's the most powerful man in the world with nuclear weapons galore at his disposal and yet he's only got an IQ of six. Back in his youth George executed more people than any other Govenor of Texas in the whole of history ever. But now all he wants is revenge for the death of his father's political career.

Meet Saddam! He's mental! As the Butcher of Baghdad he's killed thousands of innocent people, believing that he should be the most powerful man in the world instead of George. He's the one that George wants to obliterate from the face of the Earth. Unfortunately hundreds of thousands of innocent people will die in the process and the entire Middle East might end up destabilised spelling possible Armageddon.

Now meet Tony! Although people don't know it he really is the most powerful man in the world. He's the only man alive who could put a stop to all of this. If Tony doesn't support George's plans for revenge then George will have to go it alone. And George wouldn't do that because he's a chicken-livered shit.

Unfortunately Tony is on a mission from God. He isn't listening to the Anglican, the Muslim or the Catholic leaders. He isn't listening to his own political party. He's turned a deaf ear towards his own people. And, to be honest, he isn't listening to God either.

It looks as though the world might be screwed here. Is there any hope left? What we need now is some sort of Super Hero!

George, Saddam and Tony...putting the Fun, the Mental and the final Amen back into fundamentalism.

The Axis of Weevils! Coming to a world stage near you soon...unless we can somehow manage to get Dianne Abbott into power!

It's good to see some bright spark in the government (probably Harriet Harman...I'm not sure why I suspect it's her but as far as I'm concerned she's one of the sisterhood since she had her clitoris pierced for Hello magazine) has changed the law regarding husbands murdering their spouses. No longer can these evil, fascist men claim that they were victims of abuse and only fought back against their decent, innocent female partners in self-defence. Have you ever heard such bullshit? When has any penis-fixated, testosterone-driven male ever done anything in self defence? It takes two to tango you lying macho bastards and murder is murder no matter how you look at it!

Fortunately the law regarding women murdering manslaughtering their husbands remains unchanged. That's the first bit of good legislation to come out of a male-dominated Parliament for a long bloody time. Somebody up there (obviously a woman...possibly Margaret Beckett 'cos she likes to get her teeth stuck into things) has seen some sense. Women not only have to suffer their untidy, chauvernist male counterparts but their own monthly curse as well. Men deserve to be stabbed to death...self defence or not. Manslaughter is manslaughter...not woman-slaughter!

Some ball-scratching male pig-fucker on the news at dinnertime reckoned that this new law was sexist and hadn't been thought through properly. Much like the creation of men then! God was obviously having one of Her bad days when she came up with that particular screwed-up idea.

Editor's note: Do you agree with Brenda and/or the new 'murder' law? Or do you think that certain hideous old lesbian battleaxes with a personal grudge against hetrosexual men should be shot repeatedly through the head without it being an infringement of the law? Whatever the case, I couldn't care less, but you know where the comments box is if you really want to encourage this sad old bitch.