AT LAST - A CONSERVATIVE ALTERNATIVE TO BEN & JERRY'S

"Like millions of your fellow Americans, you enjoy ice cream but do NOT enjoy seeing your money funneled to wacko left-wing causes. We are not ashamed of America. We think it's the best country ever, and so we have set out to make the best ice cream ever!

And when you serve Star Spangled, you serve your country, because we proudly donate 10 percent of our profits to charities that support the men and women of the US Armed Forces."

TESTIMONIALS

"I'm a high school student in Circle Pines, MN and I just heard about your ice cream on Fox News. I'm very happy about what you are doing and hope that this expands to my local stores. Thanks for making this for the benefit of our troops. I have a family member in Iraq and they need all the support they can get. You guys are awesome for doing this. Thank You. God Bless America."

"Finally, gourmet ice cream that doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth or get stuck in my craw. Please get this stuff to Texas a.s.a.p. -- it's already as hot as July here!"

"I'm going to talk to someone at the Commissary at the Pearl Harbor Naval base to have them contact you to see if they could start selling Star Spangled Ice Cream. I know your ice cream would sell off the shelves in the freezer at ALL the Commissaries in the US, so hopefully we will see your product in a store soon."

"I read about your ice cream flavors in the NY POST and could not believe it! You guys rock! I recently found out that Ben and Jerry's founder has a strong anti-Israel policy and was very upset, and then I heard about your company and I cannot even begin to tell you how happy it made me. I am a college freshman majoring in political science who until now did not know how to express my frustration about the liberal academia. Star Spangled ice cream is the answer. However, I am an orthodox Jew who keeps kosher and therefore not able to enjoy your ice cream. I strongly suggest that you get some form of orthodox supervision for your ice cream. I assure you that the majority of those who support Israel and the global war against terrorism will purchase your product. Keep up the great work!"

"Oh man, this is great. Where were you guys for all this time??? Finally, an American company that actually cares about America, its president, and its troops. God Bless America, and may God bless you guys."

Ah, the well known, long established nexus between food, politics and profits. We vote what we eat.

Save the woodchip industry ... eat more Greens.

As posted at "There aint no Sanity Clause" the Antipodean Branch Office of the ROTW.

Note to Ed. want a new second hand scanner? Despite the 68 bullet holes it still doesn't work. }:0(
(Cavalry arriving this long weekend ... which I'm sure you'll be pleased to know is the one set aside to celebrate the Queen's birthday.)

Editor's note to Deputy Editor: Defunct scanner noted. Will expect Issue Two's cover illustration just as soon as you've removed the bullet holes from the old scanner and, hopefully, passed them onto her Maj. "Testimonials"? Have they started putting those in ice cream as well as their burgers in America now?