US report admits 'no reliable information' of Iraq WMD

A US Defence Intelligence Agency (DIA) report has revealed there was "no reliable information" that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction in September last year.

However, the head of the agency says that does not mean Iraq did not possess such weapons.

The DIA report included a reference that it did not have enough "reliable information" on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction (WMD).

The report was presented to the administration as it was mounting a case for the urgent disarmament of Iraq.

Vice Admiral Lowell Jacoby, the head of the agency, says the report found it could not find proof of Iraq's chemical and biological weapons, but that did not mean the agency believed Iraq did not possess any.

"It is not in any way intended to portray the fact that we had doubts that such a programme existed," he said.

Admiral Jacoby today testified before the Senate Intelligence Committee which has begun an inquiry into the quality of US intelligence and if it was doctored in any way to strengthen the case for going to war.

Further enquiries are to be held into the existence of the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and a bearded fat bloke in a red suit who is reported to have an unhealthy relationship with a number of little helpers. Should no evidence be found of their existence there will be a massive worldwide recall of biscuspid bounties, chocolate eggs and stuffed stockings. The United Nations has all its agencies on red alert for the implementation of "Operation Sorry It Was Just A Clerical Error".

Deputy Editor shall be AWOL for the next 3 days. Family matters. (Such matters may involve semi automatic shotguns and/or ground glass, however no jury would convict.)