Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Search continues for hard WMD evidence

A senior US military commander says coalition forces in Iraq are continuing to find links to weapons of mass destruction, but have yet to find the weapons themselves.

Up to 3,000 teams are scouring the country for the chemical, biological and nuclear weapons which were the reasons the United States stated for going to war.

US Brigadier-General Vincent Brooks has told a media briefing in Qatar that the search is ongoing.

"What we do have is several things that have been examined," he said.

"Some have not proven to be chemical weapons, for example some have proved to be agricultural, although they were stored in a way that would not indicate a normal use for agriculture.

"But nevertheless, we determined that those were agricultural products."

Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Stand-up Comedian refuted the claims by Brigadier-General Vincent Brooks

"God willing, I will provide you with the proof. I swear by God, I swear by God, we have more chemical and biological weapons than you can poke a 40 foot pole at. We have already unleashed these weapons and we are destroying the infidel invaders one by one. Those not already feeling the wrath of our glorious weapons of mass destruction have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad."

"Three of our heroic Republican Guards have already taken Washington. Your foolish President is now our prisoner. The remaining 55 criminals of the infidel administration who fled like frightened school girls have had their names and photos placed inside Chinese fortune cookies. These evil cowards will be hunted down and smoked out."