I take a few weeks off to write a small thesis (not the one bothering Hughes!) -- Editor's note: I'll disregard that remark...but only because you've been away for so long and have forgotten my iron will...oh, wait...I've just reread what you've written. I thought you were insulting Deputy Editor Sedgwick by calling him a small faeces -- and what happens? Blair goes and fucks it up big time!

We now have fortress Westminster. Having made Government as inaccessible and incomprehensible to any normal person-about-town (that’s if Ken Livingshit actually allows anyone holding a British passport and steady job past his own cordon) some bright spark noticed a loophole so now even our more ambitious asylum seekers will not be allowed to put across a case for their right to publicly expresses their religious devotion to martyrdom and mass murder. I mean, blimey, if they can’t express themselves freely now they’re here why let them in at all?

Our wonderful Court of Appeal has let off a bunch of Afghan hijackers because they were in fear of their lives and fleeing from the Taliban. Apparently the fear and stress suffered by the hijacked passengers and crew was only a minor technicality and hardly worth bothering about. Those same hijackers now have leave to sue for having to suffer the “stress” of wrongful conviction and imprisonment. The Law has finally succeeded in plunging this benighted country into madness and chaos where Bleugghh and his cohorts have failed. It is little wonder that we have an asylum problem. Britain is the biggest fucking lunatic asylum in the world.

Having rid the world of Saddam the Tyrant, Bleugghh is willing to get tough on all tyrants. Which is why he invites them over for a quiet game of cricket and tea in the pavilion. But then, having Cherie grin at them is enough to put the frighteners on anyone.

Amphibian-worshipper Blair is set to put a seal on his unholy alliance with devilfrog-incarnate Valery Giscard Destaing. Tone wants us to believe he is fighting on our behalf but he is actually fighting on his own behalf. Already-a-done-deal President Unelect Destaing is willing to remove the word “federal” from Britain’s part of the agreement to give up our sovereignty, our vetos and our seat on the UN Council to an unelected and unaccountable Brussels Illuminati. What Bleugghh fails to understand is that Destaing has a secret weapon of mass democratic destruction…..a THESAURUS!!!!!!

I suppose Bleugghh could be forgiven for wanting to hand over the reins of government to Europe. Apart from the fact he believes he stands a chance of becoming the first President of the United States of Europe (I’m still pissing myself laughing over that one!), he’s made such a balls-up of domestic policies (Education, NHS, tax credits, foreign policy, defence the asylum crisis, curbing judicial stupidity, the list goes on ad infinitum…) he believes his coals can be pulled out of the fire only by the same bastards who stabbed him in the back over the second UN Resolution. Personally, I believe that our immediate problems can be solved with a general election but that’s just me.

Bleugghh seems to believe that giving up our sovereignty is too important a question to put to a democratic referendum. He believes the electorate are too stupid to see the overall picture and “do the right thing”. This is the same stupid electorate that put him in office in the first place. Er…maybe he has a point.

Will becoming a fully functioning plaything (Don’t you mean member state? Ed.) of Europe be good for us? You need to look no further than Value Added Tax. Does anyone actually believe that you get any value out of having to pay almost 20% more for goods and services? Me neither. Since joining the EU our farming and fishing industries have been legislated and bureaucritised almost out of existence. Shopkeepers are thrown into jail for refusing to convert to metrication. Promoting anything British, including a Festival of British Food to help our independent food industries, is not eligible to receive a Government grant Government is a veritable fount of generosity when it comes to promoting foreign goods. And what benefit do we get out of weird EU directives like the regulated size and shape of bananas?

So much of our independence has already been eroded away. Even our wonderful government seems to be embarrassed to be called British. When Bleugghh surged into power on the phrase “Cool Britannia” he actually meant FOOL BRITANNIA!!! And we’re letting him get away with it!!!!!