Major Charles Inbred, his transsexual wife, Diana, and their old school bumchum Teflon Dickhead, have all been found guilty of attempting to defraud ex "Tis Was" presenter, Chris Tarrant, out of one million quid.
The Major and Titwad Wickdick perpetrated the scam on ITV's "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" programme. The scheme involved pathetically coughing at appropriate moments. Major Ingrate managed to reach the full one million before the word "NO!" disguised as a feeble grunt became too obvious even for the dull witted producers.
"I'd never have believed it," said Tarrant after the trial. "You just don't expect people of such high social status to behave with such criminal decorum."
Obviously Tarrant has never studied the histories of Charles and Diana's namesakes.