Monday, March 17, 2003

Bush phones Howard

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 8:14 AEDT

"The Prime Minister says the US President has asked Australia to commit troops to the likely war against Iraq.

John Howard spoke to George W Bush earlier this morning."

BUSH: Good morning Mr Hunter.

HOWARD: G'day mate Sir.

BUSH: You got my parcel?

HOWARD: Yes Sir. I've put the horse's head in the fridge, safely secured behind a fridge magnet.

BUSH: So you're on board this Iraqistan thing then James?

HOWARD: Yes indeedy diddly do Sir, Colonel Mainwaring and Private Pike are on their way as you speak down to me. Private Godfrey remains here guarding the coastline of Australia, however if he's needed we are willing to reli ....

BUSH: Stop fucking me around Hunter, send him now.

HOWARD: Sorry Sir, consider me it done.

BUSH: Fuck off. Don't call me, I'll summons you.

HOWARD: Thank you Sir, thank you, thank you.

BUSH: Fuck off.

HOWARD: Thank you, Sir.

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 10:41 AEDT
Prime Minister John Howard has just confirmed Australian troops will join a US-led war against Iraq.

Mr Howard announced the move after briefing Coalition MPs on Cabinet's decision.

Cabinet met at 8:30am AEDT, just two hours after United States President George W Bush phoned Mr Howard to formally request Australian military support for the imminent attack.

Mr Howard says Australia's military chiefs have been informed.

"The Government strongly believes that the decision it's taken is right, it is legal, it is directed towards the protection of the Australian national interest, and [I] ask the Australian community to support it."

And the people bowed and prayed, To the neon god they made.

"Gooooood Moooooorning Vietnam ... a-bloody-gain."