Monday, March 24, 2003


Five American prisoners have been 'paraded' on Iraqi television tonight along with shots of what appeared to be a makeshift morgue containing dozens of American corpses. The White House, apparently, was outraged. Well they would be...it sort of contradicts their claims of less than ten coalition casualties, doesn't it? Naturally the footage was banned from all Western nations, thus proving once again that our beloved 'Freedom of Speech' is well worth dying for. George Dubya Bush went on television in defiant mood proclaiming, "Those Iraqi bastards had better treat our boys humanely just like America's been treating its Afghanistan prisoners that fat bloke we caught with connections to Al Quaeda last week the prisoners on death row in Texas (Somebody help me here...I can't end this sentence...)


Meanwhile veteran ITN reporter Terry Lloyd is believed to be dead, killed by yet more 'friendly' fire. It comes to something when coalition troops can't spot the difference between some clapped out Iraqi vehicle and a brand new Nissan, doesn't it? And still the bombing of Baghdad continues and massive resistance is being met at Nasiriyah, Umm Qasr, Basr and various other eager-to-be-liberated places.


But bollocks to that.

We're all getting bored with the war now so it's time for a change of subject.


The slugs are back in my kitchen. They climbed in through a hole in the skirting board and, under cover of darkness, infiltrated my cutlery drawer. Forks covered with slime are extremely unpleasant...especially if you stick one of the bloody things in your mouth without realising. Yesterday I hammered a piece of wood across the opening to keep the slimy Iraqi bastards contained. Tonight, however, I saw an eyeball peering at me through a gap.

This is deliberate humiliation. It's almost Hammer Time again folks!


Which leads me onto this: If any more gung ho American Admirals nick catch-phrases from this Blogger Board to inspire their troops I'll haul their fat, sweaty arses through the courts whether they've signed up to international law or not. It doesn't even make sense in relation to the so called 'Operation Freedom'...so invent your own stupid clich├ęs you ignorant, humourless pillocks!