Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Up to 500 Iraqis killed in clash: official

Posted: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 10:14 AEDT
A US armoured force is reported to have killed between 150 and 500 Iraqis in an engagement east of the Iraqi city of Najaf, a Pentagon official says.

"We could have made a wilder guess and said the number was between 1 and 500,000, but the Secretary of Defense is of a mind to reserve that sort of estimate spread for when we get closer to Baghdad", the official said before falling on the floor in hysterical laughter. He was later escorted to Guantanamo Bay to join a growing number (believed to be somewhere between 1 and 500,000) of pre-op lethal injection detainees Administration personnel granted rest and recreation leave.

Elements of the US Army's 7th Cavalry Regiment engaged the Iraqis after coming under rocket-propelled grenade fire that damaged some US equipment.

There were no immediate reports of US casualties, the official, who asked not to be identified, said.

Citing the Geneva Convention 5th. Amendment Major William Joyce the official said, "That's for me to make it up as I go along know and you to find out, but only on a strictly you don't needs to know basis."

"There are reports we have killed quite a few," the official said. "Some reports say 200 to 300, some reports say 150 and some reports say 300 to 500."

The official further elaborated, "Some say 'tomayto' some say 'tomarto', some say 'potayto' some say 'potarto". I say lets turn anyone who waves a freakin' white flag in anger into a vegetable ."

He says the clash was with "dismounted forces" but it was unclear whether they were regular army or irregulars such as the Fedayeen Saddam.

"They fired first," the official said. "We were engaged."

"It's the start of a perfect shotgun wedding", the official added and was then immediately shot for an insubordinate attempt at humour. The official joins the ROTW Editor who was dealt with likewise for a similar offence in the posting below.

"The first casualty of the war has been truth: journalists hamstrung by the military, correspondents prevented from visiting the frontline, rumours circulating without confirmation. Phillip Knightley looks at the battle for information." His worthy article HERE